Fantasy MTV the Ruins… 2?

I’ll make this easy, we love MTV’s Real World/Road Rules challenge. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have navigated to this page. And if you still don’t agree, but you’re still reading, then you will soon be as addicted as the rest of us.

To an extremely large extent, I hate when MTV (or any other corporate giant) forces some nobody or group of nobodies on me and makes them famous just because they are all hot. But it works… *sigh*

I also hate the fact that my life is dominated by fantasy sports. Not cool for Yahoo!, ESPN, and whatever other sports outlet there is to capitalize on my borderline clinical addiction to sports

2010 Free Agency Guide

My inexplicable predictions for the Free Agent frenzy of 2010.

Miami Heat:

re-Sign Wade

Sign Dirk

Sign Boozer

Trade Beasley for Devin Harris

New Jersey:

Trade Devin Harris for Michael Beasley

Sign Joe Johnson

draft Wesley Johnson

Chicago:

Sign LeBron James

Sign Chris Bosh

New York:

Sign Amar’e Stoudamire

Practical look at 2 Jaguars

There are 2 reasons that fans will pay their scarce and hard earned money to go watch a professional sport:

1. Fans enjoy watching good teams winning games.

2. Fans enjoy rooting for good players that they know and like have fun.

I understand Vito Stellino is an established and intelligent beat writer.  I know that Collin Cowherd is a top-5 radio voice (sports or otherwise).  Etc. and etc. with innumerable sports heads.  But by Joe, they are missing the point!

A very practical, well thought, sensibly irrational hatred of ensemble casts

     Flip the channel on your Vizio to the World Wide Leader in Sports. Neal Everett, or some random sportscaster is uttering the line, “if some is good, then more is better…” to some highlight clip of ‘random favorite athlete’ scoring ‘generic points’ in Team A’s dramatic win over Team B. We’ll call that exhibit X.

     In this case, more is better. Exhibit X, is pulled out of a world of results directly correlated to crude numbers and production; more is better.

     In other cases, more is just more confusing. It’s make-up futilely dabbed over acne. It’s extra garnish on crappy pasta. It’s spritzing cologne when you didn’t have time to shower. It’s buying the new Air Jordans, but you can’t hit a J to save your life.

Open Letter to Blazer Faithful: ASG Fail

In the NBA, over the last 4 years, the Northwest has been rising.

This is by far the dumbest thing I've ever "photoshopped" ... I obviously didn't do anything but paste Roy's face... SMH

If you aren’t from the rainy part of the country where we mostly log trees or fish salmon for a living, but have the largest population of tree hugging hippies that value all forms of life, then you might just say, “Not like it’s that hard to ‘Rise’ when you’re that low to begin.”

While that may be a valid sentiment, I think perhaps you have to be from the Northwest or be a long suffered Jailblazer fan to understand what it really means to us to be able to say that we are rising.

When Kevin Pritchard and Nate McMillan began the PDX revival we were very far removed from our Rip City days, and even while we made a run to the Western Conference Finals we were far removed from fielding a team that we could be proud of on and off the court.

So to say that “We’re Rising”, we are more than anything acknowledging that we are proud of our team.  KP has assembled a roster of character guys who happen to be gel on the court and win games.

Now that a little bit of perspective has been added, I should start my real message by saying that fans of the Portland Trailblazers ought to be ashamed.  For everything that Pritchard, Paul Allen and Brandon Roy have done for us as fans, and for the city of Portland, we’ve done a lousy job expressing our appreciation.

Here is why I’m frustrated: the star of our team is a shooting guard that is consistently heralded by NBA analysts as the 3^rd best 2-guard in the entire Association; an off-guard that is a 2-time all-star that spearheaded the movement toward good guys from Jailblazers.  And we as Portland fans have becomes so complacent already that we allowed our savior to finish 10^th in All-Star voting for Western Conference guards.

I’m not sure how this happen, but I have an idea.  Our team is rising, but we as a fan base have not yet learned how to step up our game.  Maybe if we all tried our damnedest we still couldn’t have pushed Brandon ahead of Steve Nash, or even Tracy McGrady, but we’ll never know.  Instead we’ll continue to take our star for granted, and not appreciate our GM’s and our Owner’s hard work by waiting and hoping that the coaches or David Stern give us an All-Star game representative.

But I go to Blazers games, I’ve seen us in action.  We are passionate.  I see us standing and screaming, from the lower level all the way up to the furthest corners of the 300 level.  We high five and hug strangers, chant for Chalupas, and hold our heads high even in defeat.  I gotta believe we can turn some of that frenzy into better than 250k votes.

ASG: 2011 voting starts in about 9 months, I suggest we find ways to Rise as a fan base, and show our stars/GM/Owner how much we appreciate our current Rip City revival.

Kal’s sidekick

The most significant weapon in Superman’s entire arsenal hasn’t even been introduced yet.  His greatest sidekick is probably the most mild mannered character that no one has ever thought of… it should be a stick that he carries around. For fashion purposes he could opt for a cane or a baton like the Big Boss Man (aka. Farva?) used to tote, but the only important part is

Rip City Mulligan

I’m not a completely unhappy Blazer fan… quite the opposite really, I rather enjoy what’s going on in the 503 right now.  Brandon Roy is being forced to become even more of a superstar, and the Trailblazers are finding ways to occasionally knock off top teams, and beat most of the teams they are supposed to be beating.

Batman’s lessons for Big Baby

…apologies…

 

I think I respect Big Baby Davis a little bit less for caving.  Don’t apologize for exuberance.  I think Glen should have demanded an apology from that 12-year-old boy for interfering with his celebration of A GAME WINNING BUZZER BEATER IN THE PLAYOFFS.

 

…Also…I think the dad should get punched in the baby maker parts for shamelessly using his son to just get his own name on ESPN, and for suggesting that Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis has no regard for fan safety.  He’s fat!  His momentum is very difficult to stop!  It isn’t as though he hit your son with a haymaker, just be thankful that he didn’t Yokozuna your son.

 

Re: Terminator Salvation

Christian Bale should have yelled more at the director of photography Shane Hurlbut.  Pricks who walk through scenes and don’t think for one fucking second are the scum of the world, and I only love Bale more for having the proper scrote fortitude to stand up for misfortuned and starving actors around the globe.

 

The director even said that he didn’t want to censor his performers.  They need to feel free to express themselves without fear of publicly facing questions about their emotions.

 

…see, David Stern should take this same stance.  Big Baby is going to miss his next buzzer beater attempt now because he’ll be thinking about censoring his celebration instead of tickling the twine.

Bud Selig has A-Rod envy

The world’s highest paid sports commissioner Bud Selig is busy not earning his ridiculous salary again.

You’d think in a time when you league is already struggling with its image, and its busy losing the battler for young viewership, that you’d want for your brightest star to shine as bright as possible, ya? Well dumbasses, that’s why Bud Selig pays himself the big bucks, he knows that nothing says success in a down economy like slandering your meal ticket.

Instead of going a new route and providing a united front with the MLB’s Steve Austin (the 6 Million Dollar Man, not Stone Cold), he’s jumped on the media band wagon and pointed out how shameful Rodriguez is.

Really Bud, REALLY? Why not do something useful for once in your absolutely worthless tenure?

Rocca’s new addition: LeBron?

     Call me crazy, but if you know you’re going to lose a perennial all-star that is still in his prime when he gets the chance to sign unrestricted with whatever team he most prefers, shouldn’t you get something in return?

     The ultimate sin would be to trade LeBron James of course.